Now what do I do?

Headline in this morning's paper: Retirement accounts have lost $2T

And half of that $2,000,000,000,000 was mine. At least it seems that way to me.

So what do I do now? Is it too late to do anything? Do I take everything out of stocks and mutual funds and put it in insured CDs? Do I buy gold coins? Do I put it under my mattress? Use the same cattle futures trader that Hillary Clinton did, if he's taking new clients? Get drunk and not worry about it? Move to the Alaskan wilderness and live off the land?

This is what I feared would happen when Bush talked about replacing part of Social Security with individual accounts. People like me don't have inside information. We don't see what's coming tomorrow. We can't afford the fees that come with investing and moving money around. We're sitting ducks for investment "advisors."

So if anyone has any ideas what I should do with the remaining trillion or so in my retirement accounts, please let me know.

And no, I won't hold you legally responsible if you give bad advice and I take it.