Dogs and drivers

I was talking with my wife today, and she wants a shirt with the saying, "I want to be the person my dog thinks I am."

With that in mind, I said I want to be the person that other drivers on our road think that I am:

Able to swerve in any direction at any time.

Instantaneous reaction time.

Able to pass through solid objects.

Able to read minds and flawlessly anticipate actions of others.

Full of total forgiveness.

It's a tall order, but I'm trying.