Apathetic and not apologetic

Way back in the 1970s, I was president of the Ohio University Apathy Club. I think.

I couldn't get worked up over where the lettuce in the cafeteria came from, and I couldn't get worked up over who was president of the university. I didn't really care about the quality of concerts that came to the Convo, mainly because I didn't have money to go to any.

So allow me to step into my role as a member of the Ohio University Apathy Club Alumni Association and proclaim my indifference to two burning issues of the day:

The Democratic presidential candidates had a debate on MSNBC last night. I didn't know about it until this morning when the folks at NBC News made it sound like a really big deal. Thanks for the hype, NBC, but nobody cares.

And Rosie O'Donnell is leaving "The View." It's a show I never watch, and O'Donnell has transformed herself into an entertainer I avoid. Even if she invited Sanjaya Malakar to be on her show, I wouldn't watch it.

In my next life, my name will be Jim Lyke, and I will be an optometrist. I will hire a teenage girl to be my receptionist. When the phone rings, she will say, "Hello. Lyke Eye Care."

And that will sum up my feelings toward presidential debates that occur more than a year before the election, and it will sum up my attitude toward entertainers who make a living spouting ignorant opinions.

Next topic, please.