Stuntman: Ignition: Impressions: The Blog Post

Two seconds.

Kindly count to two for me, will you. I'll wait. I'll wait exactly two seconds for you.

Did you do it? Good. I need you to remember that narrow time frame for the rest of this post. Here's why.

Stuntman: Ignition places you in the snazzy jumpsuit of a professional stunt driver - a jumpsuit I fear and admire. The game features a few movies, each with a remarkable emphasis on high-octane driving scenes. These scenes, of which there are six per movie, are laid out like giant obstacle courses. You must complete certain stunts as the director shouts them out. These commands are accompanied by icons on your Heads Up Display (HUD). You do these stunts, you pass the scene.

It's a wonderful concept. The first game in the series, simply titled Stuntman featured long load times and aggravating difficulty spikes, for which it received mediocre reviews. But in this glorious age of High Definitions and Cell Processing, the load times are few, and instant. It's a major improvement on it's predecessor.

The scoring on this game is different, however. It focuses more on "stringing" your stunts together, i.e. performing stunts close together in order to achieve a combo. The only way to get five stars, the perfect score, is to string together EVERY stunt in a scene, from toe to tip.

By the way, if you don't perform a stunt within TWO SECONDS of your last stunt, your combo ends. No five star rating for you. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty anal about stuff like that. I don't like finishing a level with four stars when I could have gotten five. We all know how much better that fifth star feels; how majestic it looks up there, on our character's mantle.


With this gameplay mechanic - this two second gap - you could very easily perform every stunt the director shouts at you, and still not string the level. You have to get creative. Between those major stunts, maybe you'll need to drift around a few corners, Paul Walker style. Maybe you'll need to drive close to other cars, or walls, or stop signs, Billy Joel style.

Some of these levels are nigh-impossible to string. I've only just completed the first six scenes, and the intricate process of trial-and-error I had to go through was obscenely tedious. I use the term "obscenely" accurately here. The game seems to evoke obscenities from the player - bold new obscenities, that could be conjured from some nether realm through a portal in the players stomach. Guttural devil screams, that's the best way to describe it. Don't play this game around the clergy. You might end up on the business end of a surprise exorcism.

It's a wonderful game, though I know I haven't made it sound as such. Once you invest the half-hour or so that it takes to really perfect a level, you can sit back and watch your automotive masterpiece through a brilliantly edited instant replay. You'll see things you missed in your intent focus, and beam proudly as you successfully and gracefully perform that reverse 180. Even better, once you complete a movie, it shows a trailer from that film, with highlights from your stunts and FMV sequences spliced together. It's very satisfying.

I don't know if I'd pay 60 bucks for it yet, but there are many layers to this delicious parfait that I have yet to uncover. Perhaps the lower strata of multiplayer and track customization will be filled with delicious nougat, or, God willing and the creek don't rise, marshmallow fluff.

What? A good video-game movie???

Okay, so it isn't a movie based on a video game. Nonetheless, RottenTomatoes.com gave "King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters" a 98%. It's a documentary about the greatest rivals in competitive "Donkey Kong" history.



If I get around to seeing this movie - I'll post my review. I really, sincerely hope that I get around to seeing this movie.

Video Power, or, "How Nintendo threw up on the 90s, which threw up on my TV.

I used to tell my brother, and everyone I ever met on the street, about an early 90s game show where kids would propel themselves through a McDonald's Playplace-esque obstacle course, sticking eerily adhesive games to their bodies. Whatever games stuck to you as you go down the final slide you get to keep!

They all thought I was mad.

Ladies and Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, I present...

Video Power, Episode 1.

(Don't try and watch all of this at once. I did, and about five minutes in, spears of light shot out of the internet, and into my brain. Very painful.)

Part 1:



Part 2:



If you can make it to the somewhat ironic "Just Say No" message at the end of the episode, you win! No, wait. You lose. You lose forever.

Bioshock: A Retrospective

Bioshock sits, unspinning, inside the disc drive of my XBox360 as I type this. Sighing a breath of relief, it recovers from the harsh extraction of data that I have subjected it to over the past four days. I have completed it, but mournfully. I feel much like the last Christmas present has been opened, and soon, the ribbons and shimmering wrapping paper will be tucked into neat garbage bags, and discarded.

I am writing this less like a review (which Justin will write for tomorrow's paper, and write better than I could, more newspapery), and more like a flashback to a fond memory. If you are looking for a review, here it is. Bioshock is perfect. 10. Two enthusiastic thumbs up. I would call it the greatest game of all time, but I know that my judgment is clouded, as all of my mental faculties are still enthralled with its looming architecture, its morally demanding choices, its brave new methods of storytelling.



Bioshock is so very much more than the sum of its parts, though its parts are many, and the way they complement each other is astonishing. It is a first person shooter, that much is evident from videos and screenshots. But the word "shooter" is misleading; as you will find yourself dispatching more enemies with the use of your handy "plasmids", or, in layman terms, superpowers. Why fire a pistol at an enemy when you can turn your hands into beehives, which are capable of releasing hundreds of angry, dedicated bees with the snap of your fingers?

It's not just a role-playing game, but you do have complete control over your character, deciding how to upgrade your weapons, what plasmids you carry with you, what "tonics" (passive improvements to your skills) you want to use. It's not exactly a survival horror game, although you must worry about your survival, and it is horrifying, at points. It's not an adventure game, but you do spend a lot of time trying to figure out the mystery behind Rapture, the underwater city you have found yourself in, largely through the discovery of journals of the former residents of the city.

2K Games has blended elements of the most successful games ever created, and they have done so masterfully. They've created a unique hybrid genre - an "everygenre" which should not work. It should collapse under the weight of its own auspiciousness. And yet it does not. It stands strong, as a beacon for game designers for years to come.



That's a Little Sister. They carry a substance called ADAM, a genetic building block which everyone in Rapture wants to get their hands on. Even you - ADAM allows the player to buy more powerful plasmids, tonics, improve their total health, or EVE (which lets you use plasmids). ADAM is a good thing. But Little Sisters are the only way to get it. The problem is, each Little Sister has a guardian called a Big Daddy (seen on the cover of the game, above.) And you can't get that ADAM while the Big Daddy is still around. And that drill is awfully unfriendly.

Should you best a Big Daddy, the hardest decision a game has ever presented will be yours to make. Do you rescue the Little Sister, killing the parasite inside her that has transformed her into a sub-human monster, receiving a little bit of ADAM on the side? Or do you harvest the Little Sister, extracting the parasite, and gaining the maximum amount of ADAM, at the price of the child's life?

When the choice came to me, I actually paused the game, and walked away for a while to think. I'm not one to see children come to harm, even those of the digitally rendered variety, but my Electro Bolt plasmid could use some powering up - and my health could be a bit higher...

Don't worry, I rescued them. In fact, I rescued every last one of them, giving me what Wayne's World would call a "super happy ending." I imagine the other endings were... not so pleasant.

But this choice, the choice to kill a child to improve your character, is new to the world of video gaming. It is a taboo of the highest caliber. The world's reaction to this alarming choice is not yet evident, but something tells me that we'll be hearing about it in the news. Like, by tomorrow night.



I do not know what else to say. It's the best game on the console, hands down. The game which previously held this honor in my mind was Elder Scolls IV: Oblivion - but while Oblivion's massive story painted a wondrous fantasy realm with royal assassinations and magical prophecies - Bioshock shows us a real world morality play. It gives us a glimpse of a world with no taboos, no organized religion, and complete freedom for progressive thinkers to do what they want. It shows us the collapse of a Utopia. It shows us the choices that men must make - between the advancement of mankind, or the protection of that which is sacred. And this theme is paralleled in the choices the game provides to the player.

It is a completely unique experience for me to think while playing a videogame. I don't mean to say that my cerebellum isn't taxed when I play Myst or even Brain Age - no, I mean to say that no game has ever forced me to look inward, to examine myself, and that which I hold sacred, and to decide what I am willing to sacrifice to further myself. And I doubt that any game ever will again.

Until Bioshock 2, which I pray is currently under development.

Nerds compete in video game tournament, plant trees

WorldWinner is a company known for holding many competitive video-game tournaments for cash and prizes. Well, it seems that the company has struck up a deal with Mother Nature (or, rather, the Arbor Day Foundation). Here's the word from the press release.

Throughout the month of September, WorldWinner will plant a tree each time a player enters a special edition Play, Plant & Protect tournament to benefit the Arbor Day Foundation.

Gamers will compete in such games as Solitaire Rush, Bejeweled 2, Big Money, SwapIt!, Dynomite, SCRABBLE Cubes, Spades, Cubis and Bookworm. Players can also expect some sort of green theme to go along with everything.

But good luck planting all of those trees. I hear some of those Nintendo enthusiasts haven't exactly grasped that concept yet. Ahem.

Disney Makes More Questionable Not "Kingdom Hearts" Games

Exhibit A: "Disney Friends," or, "Disney Does Nintendogs."



Exhibit B: "Disney's Hannah Montana," or, "Michael Eisner's Wallet Expanding Adventure." (Note: I know that he hasn't worked there in two years, the joke was just pretty irresistible).



Exhibit C: "High School Musical: Sing It!", or, "Little Girl Poison." (See also "Tri-State Theater Blog." Sorry dad.)

Who Wants Trailers?

Check it!



And now for something completely different.

Watch Super Mario World beat itself

Hey there. Do you have a few minutes? As you're taking the time out of your busy day to read this, I'm going to guess that you do.

In that case, you have the time to watch one of the most incredible engineering marvels I've ever laid eyes on - the automatic Super Mario World level. It is hacked; that much is obvious, but the incredible attention to detail, and the meticulous design of this level literally blew my mind, which ruined my new hat.



There are many other videos like this one (some with some Not Suitable For Work language, buyer beware) on YouTube, so if you want to see some more sweet Rube Goldberg-esque action in the Mushroom Kingdom, you know where to find it.

Ready, Set, PONG®!

That's right, "Pong^®" is back, and this time - he ain't takin' any guff. Welcome to the world of "Pong^® 3: Annihilation."

Okay, so not really.

"Atari Classics Evolved" will be released for the PSP this fall. The game feature such timeless games as Asteroids^TM, Asteroids^TM Deluxe, Battlezone^®, Centipede^TM, Lunar Lander^®, Millipede^®, Missile Command^®, Super Breakout^TM, Tempest^TM, Warlords^TM and Pong^®.

And how are they evolved? New exciting graphics! Yeah! We're entering the age of hi-def Asteroids. Take that, '80s!

Oh the thrill of early video-games revamped for the new age and marketed in such a way that kids today will play them and make fun of their parents for enjoying such primitive work.

But that isn't fair. "Pong^®" rules^®.

The Down Lo(ad)

As the mechanisms inside my XBox360's disc drive continue to atrophy from lack of use, the parts of it's robot brain that comprehend downloads must be rapidly growing. That's because there is so very much worth downloading and playing. There is no reason not to download these free demos, and they're a good way to kill an hour or two.


Bioshock - I felt like I was the only person who owned a 360 that wasn't excited about this game. Its rich tapestry of off-putting imagery and impeccable attention to detail seemed a little over my head. Then I played the demo, and my mind shattered. It's difficult to define, as calling it a first-person shooter lumps it in a category with so many unsavory individuals. The game plays like a FPS, yes - but it feels like an Role Playing Game. You will find yourself drawn into the underwater world of Rapture - and when the demo is up, you'll wish you could have stayed much, much longer.

Eternal Sonata - Let me see if I can explain this clearly: the story of Eternal Sonata takes place inside of a dream world. That dream belongs to the legendary composer Frederic Chopin, who met his untimely end at the age of thirty-nine. Three hours before his death, Chopin enters this dream world, in which people with terminal diseases have incredible powers.

Still with me? I hope so, because Eternal Sonata looks to be the RPG offering that I've been waiting for. While the demo for Blue Dragon (also available for demo download), another RPG from some of the creators of Final Fantasy and Chrono Trigger, seems inaccessible and convoluted, Eternal Sonata is simple, elegant, and most of all, jaw-droppingly gorgeous.


Stuntman: Ignition - Of all the demos I have downloaded on the 360, I have spent more time on Stuntman: Ignition than any other game. There is something infinitely compelling and primeval about driving a car through a complicated obstacle course, and then watching your work on an artfully crafted, tastefully shot instant replay. While the frustration present in the first game is still present (you mess up five times in one shoot, and you lose) the load times have not made a comeback. If you screw up, you instantly have the chance to try again. And you'll want to. This game looks and controls amazing, and the demo is an absolute blast from beginning to end.

Also, there's been a couple of Wii Virtual Console games that deserve recognition as well:

Paper Mario - Not to be confused with Super Paper Mario for the Wii, for which I have already shared my less-than-glowing review for, this Virtual Console download is the best RPG experience for the system to date. A Nintendo 64 title originally, Paper Mario has a charming, lengthy storyline with unique visuals and humorous dialogue. At 1000 points (or 10 dollars, in non-funny money) it's a real bargain.


Super Metroid - What can I say about Super Metroid? It's amazing. It's one of the greatest games for the Super Nintendo, in fact, Electronic Gaming Monthly called Super Metroid the greatest game of all time. If you have played it, it's worth another run through. If you haven't, then you should probably drop the 800 points (8 dollars) required to buy it.

I know I've given you a lot of downloading to do. You should stop Youtubing reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond right away, and get to work.

Beautiful Katamari and You

Hey little guy, quit rolling the environment up into a giant ball!

Well, I suppose I am asking the impossible. "Beautiful Katamari," the latest in the "Katamari" series, is set to release this fall for the Xbox 360.

So what's new? Well, truthfully, nothing really needs to be new. Nonetheless, there will be new environments, a new (more intense) versus mode, an online mode, hi-definition graphics, and of course, a bubbly new soundtrack.

Who could ask for more?

And if you haven't played the "Katamari" games before - do it. It's the most fun you'll ever have doing absolutely nothing.

MMORPG BFFS!!!

Where did you meet your best friends? Was it in a group? At school? Or did you meet them through another friend in the world...of warcraft?

According to a recent study carried out by researchers at Nottingham Trent University, many gamers meet lifelong friends and/or mates through online role-playing games. The study is being published in the journal CyberPsychology and Behavior.

Here's a bit from a press release regarding the issue:

"Three quarters of online role-playing gamers make good friends with the people they meet in their virtual worlds, with almost half meeting in real-life situations and one in ten going on to develop physical relationships, according to a new study.

"Other findings to come out of the study, Social Interactions in Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Gamers, included more than 30% of participants finding themselves attracted to another player; and 40% choosing to discuss sensitive issues with online friends rather than their real-life friends."


The study also showed females were significantly more likely than males to be attracted to other players, and were far more likely to go on to date them.

However, aside from the positive sides (proving gamers not to be anti-social), it does also say that one in five gamers claim MMORPGs "had a negative effect on their relationships if their partner was not a player."

Here's another bit from the report:

"Around a third of gamers reported they could be more themselves in the game than in real life."

Ah, the virtual world. It's like we're moving closer and closer to "Tron" every day.

I'm sorry, this must be your Chemical Romance

For it surely isn't My Chemical Romance.

Okay, I know. The awful puns need to stop. To business:


Those whipper-snappers My Chemical Romance are releasing a pack of songs for the 360 edition of "Guitar Hero II". That's right, friends, we're back tracking from all of the "Rock Band" and "Guitar Hero III" news and going back to the sequel we all came to love.

The songs are "Teenagers," "Famous Last Words," and "This Is How I Disappear." The lot will be available on Xbox LIVE.

In related news, this blogger only really cares about good bands.

XBox 360 price drops it like it's hot

First, a quick congratulatory message.



Blog: The Video Game is now 100 posts old. Congratulations, old chap. You've certainly made the internet a much more valuable place. Feel free to take a moment to appreciate your favorite post. Ahh, that's my favorite too.

Now, to the matter at hand.



Today, the XBox 360 sees a price drop of around $50 across the board. The systems now sell for:

Elite - $449
Premium - $349
Core - $279
Limited Edition Halo 360 (not yet released) - $399

This price drop, according to Aaron Greenberg, the group project manager for the console, has been in the works for a while, and was purposefully executed so closely to the release of Madden 2008 (which comes out the 14th, next Tuesday.)

Their sneaky plan is to snatch up all the PS2 owners who come in to pick up Madden 08, and see that a next-gen system is somewhat more affordable.

Greenberg also noted that the system has remained the same price for 21 months, the longest that any console retained their launch value.

From an MSoft Press Release:

"The fact that we have been able to keep our launch price longer than any other console while retaining our leadership position demonstrates that consumers believe in the value of Xbox 360," said Mitch Koch, corporate vice president, Global Retail Sales and Marketing Group, Entertainment and Devices Division at Microsoft.. "On the eve of the best holiday games lineup ever and the launch of 'Madden NFL 08,' there has never been a better time to jump into Xbox 360."

I'd like to make some snarky comment here about how they could have dropped the price further, or how maybe retaining your launch price for so long might not be such a good thing, but the man is right. In my opinion, the 360 is in a league of its own right now, and with dozens of amazing titles coming out for it by the end of the year, it's time to get on the bus, if you haven't already.

Guitar Hero III song to cause instant arthritis, carpal tunnel, epilepsy, death

Exhibit A: Through the Fire and Flames, as made famous by Dragonforce.



I thought I was hot stuff when I pulled a 92% on Miserlou on Expert. But this song, I fear, would make Dick Dale's brain shoot out of his ears. I wonder if you get bonus points if you can play it whilst holding a massive broadsword?

Trailervision: World of Warcraft: Rise of the Lich King

As done as I am with World of Warcraft, I must say that the addition of a new class, and content that I'll never be high enough level to see does tempt me back into my anti-social ways. It seems to me like this will be another MMO expansion that favors the high of level, throwing mere scraps to those who lack the dedication to "hit 60". Or 70. Or whatever. While they should treat those who have stuck with their game for so long, and who have (no doubt) finished most of the content already provided, I believe expansions should open up new options to those of single-digit status as well.

I do miss playing MMOs, from time to time. Perhaps Age of Conan will fill that void, or Guild Wars 2, whose lack of subscription fees makes me salivate furiously.

Smash Bros. Brawl to feature singleplayer campaign

While Super Smash Bros. has always had solid single-player, especially in Smash Bros. Melee, the superbrains behind Brawl are adding a story-driven, side-scrolling single player campaign. The story will be driven by short videos, keeping the quick pace we've all come to expect of the series.

This announcement has created new anticipation glands to crop up in my body, pushing aside other, arguably more important organs. EB Games is taking reservations for the title, saying it drops on December 3rd. Let's just hope I can make it that long.

Grand Theft Tardy

Grand Theft Auto IV, or, as I like to call it, the eighth Grand Theft Auto game, will miss its initial October release date, and will now be launched in the second fiscal quarter of 2008 (which is industry speak for February through April.)

Take-Two Chairman Strauss Zelnick explained in simple terms that "certain elements of development proved to be more time-intensive than expected." I guess it takes a lot of time to check every inch of a game to be completely certain that no sexual minigames appeared from thin air, as though conjured by elder porn wizards.

On a serious note for the company, this delay means missing that sweet target known as the holiday season. Their expected revenue for the end of the fiscal year decreased promptly by nearly $25 million. That's a lot of millions.

While I'm not heartbroken by this delay (it's not as though I'll have any lack of games to play this holiday season) I'm sure it will upset some more of the series more avid fans. Hopefully these time-intensive elements will more than make up for the wait.