Cue the theme from "Mortal Combat," please.

Back in my college town of Chicago, the good people at Midway are working on some exclusive up-and-coming stuff for the Nintendo systems. Most notably? Some new "Mortal Kombat" games.

- Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (Wii) - Just released for the Wii, Armageddon now features new controls and a new Endurance mode. It still features the largest MK roster.
- Ultimate Mortal Kombat (DS) - Coming in November, this one combines Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 and Puzzle Kombat. Also, this one will feature Wi-Fi capabilities that will allow you to fight people via the Internet.

There are only a few more games announced by Midway...


Okay, okay! I'll hurry along.
- Cruis'n (Wii) - The classic racing arcade game comes to the Wii in November.
- Game Party (Wii) - Looks like another multiplayer sports/games staple for the Wii that will enable the full capabilities of the remote. Also to be released in November.
- Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: Imagination Invaders (DS) - The Nickelodeon show (that I admittedly enjoy a lot) comes to the DS. Join Bloo and the gang for some crazy handheld capers in November.
- The Bee Game (DS, GBA) - It's a game about bees, coming in November.
- Touchmaster (DS) - Solitaire! Mah Jongg! Other games! July!
KO!Actually, my name's Evan. But that's okay. At least I got a "fatality". I guess.

Remember Middle School?

I do. I remember being the only one in middle school who didn't enjoy the show "Jackass". Or either of the movies. But, America needs more of Johnny Knoxville on a daily basis, so thus will be born "Jackass: The Game".

In the game, which will be released for the PS2, PSP and DS this fall, you play your favorite degenerates partaking in some of the stupidest things a human being could ever do.

By the screen shots alone, it looks like the game will be done very much in the same style as the Tony Hawk games, especially the Underground series. But, given the material the show often provides, expect lots of trash cans, shopping carts, unicycles, injuries, and (if we're all lucky) Preston Lacy.

For more on the game, big kids can check out www.jackassthegame.com. But please, for your own sake, heed the giant "WARNING" notices that those guys leave in their shows, films, and game.

Back From "Vacation"

Well, after our weekend at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival and then a few Internet problems here and there (to give you an idea, I am reporting from the backyard of my parents' house and taking someone else's wireless signal), we at BTVG are back. Any exciting news or insight to report on? Maybe. But first, the facts:

1) While at Bonnaroo, one Mr. Griffin McElroy and I took in some shade and relaxation at the Discoteque Arcade - Bonnaroo's comfort space for nerds. Last year, I was beaten at an intense and brutal round of "Frogger." This year, classic video games were eliminated and replaced by only Xbox 360 games. As disappointing as this was, Griffin and I still looked forward to a game of "Guitar Hero II." Alas, all we could play was Kiss' "Strutter" on mute. On co-op. The fun was overwhelming.

2) After a couple of days of watching dad play my copy of "Super Paper Mario," I finally got to take a swing at the temple of 100 challenges (or whatever it's called). Last time, I got to rom 86 and died. I defeated it this time, but I'm honestly just at a loss. Am I supposed to be pleased that I spent all the time to do that?

3) I downloaded "Asteroids" on my laptop. There's really no significance to this fact. There's really no significance to any of these facts, for that matter.

News soon, features later, hugs for everyone.

Important Message from the BTVG Staff:

Two-thirds of the BTVG management (the only two-thirds that get off their lazy butts and do stuff) are going to be out of town until next Tuesday. Can you go without video game news n' knowledge that long? No, I don't think you can. Expect the shivers to start around Saturday.

In the mean time, sound off your appreciation. Don't hide in the corners, dear readers. Voice your love! Make us feel good, and save messages to the internet forever, catapulting you to a celebrity-like status in mere minutes!

2 Cute 2 B 4gotten,

Griffin McElroy

Forza Motorsports 2 Review

I know very little about cars. It's not surprising, I drive a 1992 Cutlass Supreme that I don't take very good care of. I don't drive very much, I prefer walking to most places. If the car isn't starting and it's not out of gas, and there's not a flat tire, then it's dead to me.

I actually grew up friends with a number of car enthusiasts. I'm amazed that despite the amount of vehicular dialogue I was subjected to in High School - I still don't know what a transmission does, or what spark plugs do, or how to ghost ride the whip.

When I got Forza Motorsports 2 in my hot little hands, I was excited to play what I heard was the best racing game ever. I was hesitant to have a new racing love in my life -as the Burnout series is one of my favorite video game franchises ever. However, I knew that the things you can do with cars in this game - the infinite customization options the player has - was something I had to try out.

And it did not disappoint. Each car can receive a custom paint job, window tint, and decal application to create a completely unique automobile.

Let me be more specific about the decals - you can apply up to 1000 on each side of the car. That's 1000 on the left, 1000 on the right, 1000 on top, 1000 on the front, 1000 on the back. No decals on the bottom. That's something they'd do on Pimp My Ride.

Also, there are very few pre-made decals. The decals you put on are simple geometric shapes, or lines, or natural shapes, or tribal patterns, or letters. Combined, and with a lot of creativity and patience, you can come up with some truly amazing designs. It wasn't long before I recreated the iconic black Dodge Charger from Death Proof, and Bumblebee from the new Transformers movie.

"Marshall Car" courtesy of Huntington's own Ed Meadows.

Customization isn't just cosmetic, you can upgrade every little part that makes up an automobile, the engine, the suspension, all the way down to the spark plugs - nature's greatest mystery. While I wasn't exactly sure what each part did, I knew that more expensive parts = better car - and you really can tell the difference. You can even tune your car to further customize it. Better decide right now - how much air do you want in each tire?

The number of licensed cars in the game is insane. Nearly everyone makes a showing, including North American, European, and Asian car companies. Imagine a car. Yup, it's in there.

Here's the problem I had with Forza 2 - yes, you can have any car imaginable and make it look however you want, but then you'll have nothing to do with it.

The racing controllers are super realistic. Don't expect to pull Mario Kart-esque brakeslides on your first race, because your first car is terrible. You have to slow down to a crawl to take most turns. And the controls don't improve much as your car gets better, as spinouts become more and more common. Pretty soon, you'll feel less like you're playing the best racing game ever, but instead, the Billy Joel driving simulator.

Sorry Billy, that was cheap.

Perhaps driving enthusiasts will pick up something I missed. Perhaps the devil truly is in the details. Perhaps, if only I had a little more air in my front tires, I would have performed better on the track. As it is, the Forza experience for me was ruined by the actual game play.

But if you want to recreate Nash Bridge's yellow and black striped Barracuda - maybe Forza 2 is right for you.

"Halo 3" for the Xbox 360 and comics and books and toys and sitcoms

There's no doubt that the "Halo 3" multiplayer beta was a huge success. The guys at Bungie and Microsoft can barely contain themselves. Which is why we've reached the inevitable.

HALO 3 MERCHANDISE 'SPLOSION!

- Xbox 360 Limited Edition "Halo 3" Wireless Controllers - designed by Captain Todd McFarlane, the creator of "Spawn" and those NHL action figures you never bought. The controllers come in either Covenant Brute or Master Chief themes. And if that wasn't enough? They come with special edition "Halo 3" action figures as designed by McFarlane. These will be available in early September.
- Xbox 360 Limited Edition "Halo 3" Wireless Headset - will sport the Spartan green and gold. Also coming to you in September.
- "Halo: Contact Harvest" - The next book in the series. It's actually a prequel to the last New York Times best-sellers.
- Marvel comics miniseries - That's right. Master Chief hits the comics. As written by Brian Michael Bendis (a comic book writer and magician).
- Zune: "Halo 3" Edition - That's right. A Halo MP3 player. Because there's nothing ladies love more than a man who dons his video games not only on his TV, not only on his t-shirt, but also clad all over his inevitably awesome music.

It's only a short time until we see even more "Halo 3" related merchandise. A preview you ask? Okay then."Dad, there's a gun shell in my cereal."
"Oh son, quit your whining. The prize in the box was a Needler!"

Dare I? Okay, I'll do it, but I know I'll regret how horrible this pun is.

Move over Big Bank, we got a new chief. Master Gee, you'll have to shorten your name to just "Gee." We got a new master.


I apologize. I can't pass up a good Sugarhill Gang reference. Anyhow, be on the look out for more exciting "Halo 3" related merch.

Worms: Goin' Mobile

Remember "Worms Armageddon"? Remember the other dozens of Worms titles? Well those vicious little bazooka-wielding invertebrates are ready to become even more compact in "Worms 2007," a version of the game for mobile phones.

If you haven't played any of the worms games, they're multi-player wars where you take a group of worms on a battlefield and strategically try to kill the other team's worms by way of heavy weaponry. Although it sounds silly, it's quite fun. Especially when you name your team of worms after diplomats (take that, Churchill!).

The game is said to have more worms, more weapons, and a fully controllable game camera. And best of all - they fit in your pocket. I haven't had worms in my pocket since the second grade when I decided that I would try to scare some of my friends, so I'd strategically hide worms in their pockets and shoes and hair.

By the way, if anybody was wondering who was the ringleader was of the great Pea Ridge Elementary Worm Scare of 1996, I don't know anything.

An HD Hadouken - Puzzle Style

Just so you know, it took quite a while to find the proper spelling of "hadouken," and if you don't understand what that means, then please skip to the next entry.

So I don't kid you when I say that my favorite PlayStation game of all time is "Super Puzzle Fighter II". What is that, you ask? It was a Capcom staple that basically combines a Tetris-esque game with characters from "Street Fighter" and "Darkstalkers." And it was extremely fun. And now I can't seem to find my copy of the game anywhere.

But hark! Last April, they announced that the game is being revamped in HD for the Xbox Live Arcade and for the PlayStation Network (i.e. they will become available via the Internet to those two systems).

So I am late in hearing this news, but man am I excited. And now, to illustrate why I probably shouldn't be so excited.



Looks pretty lame, right? Seriously - don't knock it until you try it. And the voice-overs are fantastic (you know, I could swear that Felicia says "Tom McGee" when you scroll it over to 1:30).

Video Game News Digest - 06/08/07

Well, some stuff happened today, but nothing terribly exciting, so you know what that means: it's time for another:


1. Super Smash Bros. Brawl, the highly anticipated Wii release, will have four different styles of control. Stick with me here: you can either use just the Wii-mote, the Wii-mote with nunchuck attachment, the Classic Controller, or a Gamecube controller. How they can manage to make a style for just the Wii-mote, with all of it's four accessible buttons, is beyond me. Perhaps there will be waggle involved. Much waggle.



2. Konami released a remastered version of the Metal Gear Solid 4 trailer which showed at E3 2006. I guess it is more important to pretty up a year-old trailer, as opposed to, I don't know, working on the game.



3. Assassin's Creed is going to drop this November for the PS3 and XBox 360, unless enough PS3 fanboys protest it's multi-platformosity. If that happens, then it will come out on the PS3 and XBox 360.


4. Finally, Myst is coming to the DS. I remember playing the crap out of this game on PC in middle school. My friends would ask me - where are all the guns? Where are all the enemies? "Don't you understand," I would reply, "free will is the enemy. Choice; one's own judgment of good and evil, those are the antagonists!" I didn't have many friends in middle school.



Until the next slow news day, I bid you adieu.

LEGO MMO Gets Titled

It was announced a few months back that NetDevil (whose last project was the inspired and extemely unsuccessful Auto Assault) and LEGO (that company that makes them toy bricks) would team up to bring us a LEGO based massively multiplayer online game. I try not to get too excited by initial announcements anymore, it just leads to heartache and pain. (I'm fully convinced the Firefly MMO which was announced will really only come out in a parallel universe, on a completely unheard of OS.)

But, the LEGO MMO got a name!

LEGO Universe.

I'm going to go ahead and call it - this is the next MMO I'm going to play. As long as they take advantage of all of the franchises they've collected over the years, this should be an instant hit, for adults and children both.

Because, like Wu Tang Clan, LEGO is for the children.

A Minsker/McElroy Mario "Party"

Welcome to the Minsker and McElroy Mario Party. To celebrate the release of the latest of those zany parties, "Mario Party 8," we decided to convene at Griffin's apartment and check it out. This is an account of a Tuesday night full of hope and...well...you'll see.

A quick synopsis of the game to newcomers: "Mario Party" is essentially a staple for mini-games, but your ultimate score lies on the game board (which ultimately plays like a board game, but with more cartoon violence). The player with the most stars wins. It's nearly as thrilling as 13 Dead End Drive.

Meet the Players!

Evan Minsker as Luigi!Griffin McElroy as Dry Bones!
Featuring Travis McElroy as Boo!And the computer as Waluigi!



10:50 p.m. - The game has begun. This is the part where the game decides who goes first. Looks like it's the computer, and then Travis, and then me, and then Griffin.

10:55 p.m. - We now get to play the first mini-game. It is a 3 vs. 1 mini-game in which Griffin, the computer and I get to shoot canons at a helpless Travis. Shenanigans are declared, but nonetheless, Griffin and I come out victorious.

Note: the lack of a playable Donkey Kong proves to be severely disappointing.

11:01 p.m. - I lose a mini-game, in which I was teamed up with the computer, due to Waluigi's insolence.

11:04 p.m. - After a dolphin took Griffin to a magic treasure island, he pursues a chest and gets a star. He then takes the lead. May the record show that he is also a rotten cheater.

11:09 p.m. - It is a three on one against Waluigi, and we humans win due to the inferiority of machines. This game is starting to get pretty fun!

11:15 p.m. - Lost all of my coins at the Bowser space. Fits of childish anger are plentiful.

11:24 p.m. - This game is set on an "easy" setting and is ridiculously easy. The map isn't very challenging as of yet and it just seems to be just like the last of the parties that Mario has thrown. Plus there are far too many awful puns for my taste.

11:30 p.m. - I have nearly reached second place after a long stint in third, and I am two spaces away from the star. But what's that? I get thrown back to start? Alas, this has been a tale of heart break and obscenities.

11:45 p.m. - The same thing happened to Griffin. I feel much better about this situation.

12:05 a.m. - After an epic duel between Griffin and I, during which I managed to make my disembodied eyeball get dizzy before his, I steal a healthy amount of coins. Then he gets a star. In other words, the duel proved to be utterly pointless. I am slowly losing interest.

12:09 a.m. - This party is just like every one that I was invited to at high school - sad. Currently, Griffin is in the shower and Travis has nearly fallen asleep on himself.

12:17 a.m. - Morale update:So let's check: I am convinced that this game will never end, Griffin is continuously disappointed, and Travis is asleep.

12:33 a.m. - I have stopped caring. We are on round 21 of 30 and this party is none but soul draining.

12:35 a.m. - Reading the rules to the mini-games has become obsolete. No practice rounds and no seeing what we need to do. Just playing and failing as fast as we can.

12:40 a.m. - As we near hour two of this excellent party, Griffin finds himself two spaces away from the star. He once again gets thrown back to start. Wii remotes are dropped or thrown and the game is over. The drive home will prove to be a long and tear-filled one.

The Winner: DRAW (nobody)

Thank you for reading this heartbreaking tale of what could have been a wonderful party.

The HD Review: Shadowrun

So, here’s the thing about “Shadowrun”: I can’t tell you if you should buy it.

It’s a first-person shooter for Xbox 360, and it’s one designed to hit a specific group of people right in the sweet spot, the breadbasket, as it were. For those people, it shouldn’t even be a question: Buy it. For others, it’s considerably more gray. Let me tell you a bit more though, and we’ll see if we can’t figure which type you are.

“Shadowrun” takes place in a futuristic world where magic has returned to the Earth. A corporation called RNA is battling guerrillas called the Lineage for control of one magical hotspot: Santos, Brazil. Each round of the game puts you on one side and pits you against the other. Sometimes you’re trying to return an artifact to a base, and sometimes you’re just trying to wipe the other side out.

The weaponry, with the exception of one mean katana, is pretty standard FPS fare, but the extra layer that “Shadowrun” adds is in tech and magical abilities. Some like gliding, teleportation and resuscitation really completely change the dynamic of the game, others are more booster abilities for shooting, dodging etc. Honestly, there’s so many different things in here, I’m sort of shocked it works as well as it does. The fact that the game is balanced is really a miracle.

It is balanced though and plenty of fun. There is a lot going on though, so much so that it’s going to take you some work to get the hang of it. And that brings us to the “Shadowrun” sticking point. This game is made for the sort of person who likes to invest a lot of time in a first-person shooter. There’s no single-player to speak of, so if you don’t want to play against other people online, there’s really not much here for you. It’s nine maps, the aforementioned gameplay modes, and that’s it.

If you’re the type that likes to play with different abilities, train at a game and get a lot of satisfaction by cleaning the competition’s clock, then the $60 price tag is probably worth it, there’s plenty of depth here. If you’re a casual fan who just thinks it sounds like fun to teleport around and turn into smoke, you’d probably be better off waiting for a price drop.

The sad thing is that without the added lifeblood from the second group being attracted by a lower price tag, the first group may find that they have no one to play with. Which, for fans of fresh air in shooters, is bad news indeed.

Justin McElroy covers video games for The Herald-Dispatch. He can be reached at jmcelroy@herald-dispatch. Or add his gamer tag, Lesko, to your Xbox Live friends list.

VIVA FIFA '08!

So I normally could go without playing soccer games. I'm honestly never really blown away by the sport itself, to be fair. I was always more of a curling fan.

But in case you were wondering, that photo above is a screen shot for "FIFA 08", which has been dubbed for a worldwide fall release for the PS3 and 360. By the look of the few screen shots alone, this game looks like it could be pretty fantastic.

The game will include 620 licensed teams, 30 leagues, and more than 15,000 players. It is also said to take full advantage of the opportunities that the PS3 and 360 have to offer. With smarter A.I., a more responsive shooting and control system, and the online Interactive Leagues, this game looks like a promising one. Keep an eye out for more on this one.

No, no soccer jokes this time. That day has come and passed.

Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree Gameplay

New gameplay footage for Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree came out today, via GameTrailers. Looks like a ton of fun, but I'm not too sure how crazy kids are going to be to play a game that simulates school during the summer time.

I mean, it worked for Bully, but you could shove nerds into lockers and kiss fat chicks in that game - two gameplay elements that are seriously missing in Wii Degree.

9 vs. 19 - Volume 2

The year was 1995. The WB television network began, O.J. Simpson was found not guilty, Chrono Trigger was released for the Super Nintendo, and an 8-year-old Evan Minsker lied to the masses with a video game column. This is 9 vs. 19 - the terrible games based on bad '90s films edition.


After a few months absent, the Super Nintendo decided to resurface and grace my father and I with its dusty presence. Thirsty for cartridges, I took it for a test drive. The old girl still works flyingly.

I searched through the archive of old reviews published by dad, Justin and I. Low and behold, I came across two reviews which prove that I was a foolish, lying child.

Judge Dredd - SNES - original column published July 31, 1995

Past Evan - There's not very much blood - but I don't think a little kid should play this game - it might be too violent for them.
Present Evan - Oh young, innocent little Evan. You have so much to learn about violence in video games. Back in elementary school, when "Street Fighter" was considered to be too realistically violent and unsuitable for children, you had no idea what the industry was going to get into. This is Blue's Clues compared to the "Grand Theft Auto" or "Resident Evil" series'.
Past Evan - I like the fighting, but I don't like it that much - it's kind of good.
Present Evan - Wait, what? Do you like it or not? You haven't said nearly anything of worth. The fighting and control system may be redundant, but I think you were (almost) on to something there. The fighting is better than it is in most games of this nature. It's just impossible to stay alive because the game doesn't give you any way to avoid getting hit.

Batman Forever - SNES - original column published October 2, 1995

Past Evan - You're supposed to fight all these bad guys.
Present Evan - Uh-huh.
Past Evan - It looks a bit virtual.
Present Evan - Check.
Past Evan - The characters and the background look almost real!
Present Evan - Lies! You, sir, are full of lies. The graphics are awful. I mean, this is after "Donkey Kong Country" came out. That was the definition of cutting edge graphics at the time. This is awful! Batman's legs and arms only revert in two directions and otherwise the design of the game is lazy. Not to mention the Arkham Asylum villains names are "Mad John" or "Mad Ron." Laziness all around.
Past Evan: I like the graphics and the fighting and that's it.
Present Evan: Well the fighting is awful. There's nothing innovative or good about the fighting design. There are games similar to this for the SNES that hold up way better than this piece of junk.

So how do they hold up?

• "Judge Dredd" - While the game isn't one of the best, it still is much better than "Batman Forever." That horrible Stallone staple aside, this game's only problem lies in how impossible it is to stay alive for an extended amount of time.
• 1995 grade: C+
• 2007 grade: D+
  

• "Batman Forever" - This game is awful. I don't know what I was thinking in 1995, because it's a chore to get anywhere close to finishing the first level. With clunky and awful controls and a terrible fighting system, avoid this game like the plague.
• 1995 grade: A+
• 2007 grade: F

The verdict? Okay, so my grade was deceiving in the "Judge Dredd" review of 1995. That game turned out to be slightly better than "Batman Forever." The latter of the two, however, was a total lie. I apologize to anyone who purchased that game after reading my glowing review of it. It was worse than the movie itself...which is saying something.

Wii Shop Channel Gets Funky

Proud owners of the Wii should be all too acquainted with the Wii Shop Channel. This feature, available to any high-speed Internet-wielding Wii owners, lets you purchase games from the Nintendo 64, Super Nintendo, the Original Nintendo, the Sega Genesis, the TurboGrafyx16, and various other systems.

Welcome to the genius of the Nintendo Wii. They understand that the future lies in the backwards compatible system. That means that even though Nintendo has ditched the cartridge system, they have maintained the games digitally. Thus, you can play various games from any Nintendo system (from the GameCube to the NES) and other systems from a young nerd's wonderland.

Now that Nintendo and Sega have stopped competing and started holding hands, that means nothing but good things for us. Enter one of the latest additions to the Wii Shop Channel.

Okay, who ordered the funk?

That's right, everyone. The "coolest" duo in gaming history have launched their epic sequel onto the Wii Shop Channel. "ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron" puts the player in the shoes of either one of your favorite characters. The goal? Capture the Earthlings on planet Funkotron, bottle them up, and ship them to Earth. With the power of funk on your side, you can reign supreme. This game is available for two players, so grab your best friend for a night of awful '90s lingo, fashion, and most importantly, funk.

This game is number 98 to be released on the Wii Shop Channel, which is along with number 97, "Milon's Secret Castle" for the NES, and number 99, "Dead Moon" for the TurboGrafyx.

And number 100?
Okay, so this one is actually the most exciting and to be honest, I love "ToeJam & Earl" more than most old video games. I know, but each to his own, right?